#201 The Outcome of the Process Part 1

Pressure can expose who we think we are and who we really are. We open James 1:2-4 and sit with the line that challenges almost everyone: “let patience have her perfect work.” I’m not talking about calm vibes or waiting politely. I mean biblical patience, staying under weight without quitting, while God builds something in you that you can’t fully see yet. 

My husband, Michael, joins me as a special guest and gets honest about life before change: moving at record speed, wanting results immediately, and living on the edge because he didn’t know who he was. He shares a vivid story of a routine traffic stop that escalates into a felony stop, and how being judged by a last name can stir anger, pride, and survival mode. We also talk about generational patterns, the difference between changing a label and changing your content, and why new environments or even a new name don’t automatically remove the same internal battles. 

From there, we connect identity formation to spiritual formation. We talk about how God uses relationships, desire, and calling to get our attention, and why “perfect work” requires presence, like training for a race. Michael shares how patience has produced real qualities over time, including less anger and deeper healing connected to grief after losing his father as a child. If you’ve been tempted to rush the process, this is your reminder that the outcome is not only what you receive, it’s who you become. 

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s in a waiting season, and leave a review so more people can find Diamonds in the Rough. What is patience developing in you right now?

A journey through spiritual refinement, identity, healing, and growth, learning how pressure produces purpose and reveals the diamond within.

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Thank you for listening, and we hope you will return every week.

Transcript

Welcome And Prayer

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, hello, and welcome back one more time, guys. Diamonds in the rough. I am your host, Catherine. I am so glad to be before you one more time. One more time. Yes, God has blessed us. We have the ability to be able to enjoy his great green and blue and all of those colors one more time. Amen. I hope that the week has been treating you well as we come into another Friday. Yes. Wherever you can make comments or give me your thoughts. I would love to get your feedback. Absolutely. So today I got a special show for everybody. But y'all know what we gotta do first. Gotta pray. So, Father, thank you so much for another day. Thank you, God, for your grace and your mercy, God. I pray in the name of Jesus, Lord. You use me to your glory, and I pray, God, you attend those who are desiring you or desire, God, to find the diamond to find themselves, to see themselves the way that you do. God, I pray you will continue to just cover this podcast from week to week, God, that it be a blessing to those that hear it. Whether it be a few in number or a large, great, massive amount, God. I pray that your will will be done at the end of the day, each and every time. God, I thank you, God, for this season and this hour of refinement, God. I pray, God, in even those uncomfortable moments and difficulties and those things, God, that your will will be done, God. We will realize and know that it is all working for our good. Father, we love you again and we turn this time over to you. Have your way. In Jesus Christ's name I do pray. Amen. Amen and amen.

James 1 Sets The Framework

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Hallelujah. So we have torn this passage open. I don't know if y'all would agree with me or not, but we have torn it all to pieces. It has been packed with so much meat. And I, you know, I posed the question to you, are you fool yet? I hope not, because we got so much more to come stealing this same, same, same um passage of scripture. Hallelujah. So for the next two episodes, it's gonna be about the outcome of the process. The outcome of the process as we tie it to identity formation. Hallelujah. So just as a quick reminder, I want to read an anchor passage of scripture. It is James chapter 1, verses 2 through 4. He says, My brethren, give it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations, knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire wanting nothing. Hallelujah. So today we are going to hone in on the first and fourth verse, which leads us into this two-part conversation. Today we're going to be talking about the patient having her perfect work portion of the text and how it aids to the outcome of the process. And not just that, but again, the connection to identity formation. So I hope that if you're driving along, you would take and listen to this again when you have a moment where you can have your journal and writing things down. You know, in this season, we are writing things down so that we can go back to it later and see what God has been doing or has done in our lives, God, that is affecting our future. Amen. Somebody say amen on the other line. Hallelujah. To

Michael On Identity And Anger

SPEAKER_01 3:59

God be the glory. So now I already said I had a surprise. I had a surprise for you. So here comes the surprise. And it is my husband. He is here with me today. If you have any familiarity with the show, you know that he started off doing it with me, you know, and as time went by, he's kind of in and out, but that's okay. You know, I truly believe that everything happens in seasons and there's a purpose to it all. So God told me, bring him on back today as a special guest to interview about this topic. So, Michael, you want to say hello to the to the to the to our people?

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Hello, Diamonds. How are y'all doing today?

SPEAKER_01 4:49

We are so glad. I'm glad to have you here with me, have you here with me, honey? But I'm not gonna cut to the shape. I'm not, I'm not gonna, because I got a few questions I want to ask you, yeah. And I want to give you time to be able to elaborate on and go forth as the Lord leads you. Amen. So my first question to you is who was Michael Slaughter before Michael Brown came?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Michael Slaughter was a man that was on self-destruct mode.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Self-destruct? Why? And you elaborate a little bit further.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

I'll say self-destruct because I was in a position where I didn't know who I was. I was lost and just set myself up to self-destruct.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Would you say patience was a was a trial for you?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Definitely. Patience was definitely a trial because um I I did things at record-breaking speed and won the results right then and there.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Right, right, right, right. So being that, I mean, would you say that patience has been trying?

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Definitely so because um like I said, I always wanted the results right then and there, and I didn't have that that patience to wait for the result to come.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

So, okay, so because I are you being kind of vague, honey. Let's just let's let's just keep it real, okay? Let me let me ask you this. Before your name was changed, what was in regard to patients, what was what was what would trigger you? Like what would what would what are some of the things that would make you just like snap out?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Pretty much everything. I mean when I when I say everything, I mean somebody can look at me wrong. Somebody can I guess single me out because

Profiled For A Last Name

SPEAKER_00 7:20

of my last name. Like one incident, I was driving through a town that I'd never been in before, and it was a routine traffic stop, which I knew everything I had was legit license, registration, everything was legit. I was finally finding myself, I guess. And I guess waiting having the patience. And then when I get pulled over, the cop came up, he asked for everything, you know, license, registration, proof insurance, and all that. And as soon as I gave him my license, he seen the last name slaughter. And you know how you can you can read somebody by their facial expression. And that facial expression I got was now what? So he goes back to the car and everything. So I'm sitting there now. Mind mind you now, now my patience is wearing thin because I knew everything was spot on, everything I needed was legit. This should be a just run a name, come back, you're free to go. Well, as I was sitting there, about ten minutes had passed, and next thing I knew, there's like six, seven more police cars pulled up. Now they doing what they call a felony stop. They pull me out at gunpoint. And the road I was sitting on, I was sitting right there in a puddle of water, dirty puddle of water, muddy water, and I was forced on the ground in the water. Didn't get the opportunity to step out the puddle. Nah, they wanted me on the ground right then or there. And the moment I asked them, after everything said and done, they searched the car and everything, didn't not find nothing. Searched me, didn't find nothing. And I asked them, why was that done like that for? And one of them slipped up and said, Because of your last name. So I was like, so now I'm I'm on edge. I'm on I'm on rage mode because of my last name, I've never been in trouble there in my life. But now, because of my last name, it's like I'm singled out.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Well, well, we can definitely see how a lot of times our last name can be attached to generational no generational curses. And so, you know, when we did get married and he said he wanted to take my last name, I was looking at him like, I'm what? I don't mind taking your last name. And he was just set, he was bound and determined. He I was not gonna take his last name. He wanted to take my last name. So do you think that that was the decision was more of a flesh thing or spiritual?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

At the time, I would definitely say it was a flesh. But the more I thought about it, you know, it it turned into a spiritual because you know how we we act in our flesh first anyway. I mean, because that's human nature, we wrapped in flesh. But it was, it was, I think it was more of a flesh move because I didn't want you or anybody associated with you to burden to have it carry my burdens of my last name.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

So let me ask you this. So after your name was changed, do you still, do you feel like, and I I think I kind of understand I know the answer to this question, but I want you to share the answer with our audience just for the for the for the reasoning of like well let me ask the question first, then I'll tell you why. So once your once your last name was changed, did the adversity st did that did the adversity change? Or did you still have to face the same struggles after your name was changed?

SPEAKER_00 11:49

I would say I I still had to face

Changing Names Changing Habits

SPEAKER_00 11:53

it. And I say that because, you know, and and I just use this loosely You can take some out the hood, but you can't take the hood out of them. You know, that that kind of concept because you know, although my last name was changed, some of my ways didn't.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

You know, and it's it's more of a I would say a struggle that I face now. Because, you know, that's that's my roots. Because, you know, my last name, if if anybody knows, you know, it holds weight, it holds value, because you know, slaughters are not to be messed with, basically. But at the same time, I think that I I face the adversity because not only because it's my roots, but I don't want to even think I'm a pushover. And you know, even even with changing my last name eleven years now, you know, I still I still face the the I strick and flack about it. People will look at me like like I'm different.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

And do and I'll tell you, I I ask that question because a lot of times we think that, you know, because we change environments or we change clothes or we change names that the pressure changes.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

It don't.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

The reality is it does not change. Like, especially, I mean, would you would it be fair to say, do you believe that that's that's a part of the process?

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

I absolutely do, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I mean, because you know, even and and I and I'll take it a step further with what you just say and just elaborate on what you said. Um, you know, we all know that that famous spaghetti sauce, Ragu. You know, you can change the name of Ragu to something else, but it's still gonna be Ragu. You know, you can change the name all you want. You can put stars and twinkling and and fireworks from it, but it's still gonna be the same thing.

unknown 14:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Just because you change the name, don't change the content.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Right. And just because you change your name. But but to be fair, like the experience is required, and I say that based off, and you tell me if you agree or not, with Saul, his name being changed to Paul. You know, he was on that donkey doing what he did. He thought he was just in what he was doing, yeah. And God knocked him off. He knocked him off the horse, and he's just kind of like off the donkey. It's like, what did he say? Why are you persecuting me? Right? And the point is, is that Saul had to have an encounter with the one who would spiritually change the whole traject trajectory of his life. Would you say that that happened to you?

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

What was your experience that changed everything?

SPEAKER_00 15:35

I think what my experience with what changed everything is once I finally got to know who you are and seeing that you love me despite of who I used to be.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

So you say me?

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yes.

unknown 15:51

Really?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Oh between between that, between that being a close first and me accepting my calling from God.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

I promise you all, I did not know that. I did not know. Wow. That changed. And you know, with you saying that, it's like So let me let me before I say what I'm about to say, would you say that you saw the Jesus in me? Or was it me as a person?

SPEAKER_00 16:24

I would say the Jesus in you. Because you know and like even like sometimes when when when I'm thinking real hard, when I'm when I'm truly listening to God, I get the more clear understanding and revelation when I look at you. And it's not me looking at you, it's me looking through you. And I see the Jesus showing up in you, which makes me listen more intently. You know, because we we and I say when I when I when I met you because, you know, we can go through relationships and relationships and relationships and relationships, but sometimes the relationships we get into are false relationships that God did not intend. And I say that because once you find that one that God, that relationship that God designed for you, is like that's that um that parable of Boaz. Once you find your Boaz and you know it's God sent, a lot of things that you thought or we think is going to come into perspective and we can see it through God's eyes. And I hope I hope I make that clear.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

That's powerful. You know, you know, with all that all of that being said, it's like, you know, what we want, what what I want us to take home with this is that God can use, he can use a man, a woman, he can use a thing, he can use a situation, he can use anything to get your attention. And, you know, I'm gonna ask you this. Was it was your did did your desire have anything to do with what uh God using me?

SPEAKER_02 18:25

I'm making a point.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

I would definitely say yes because, you know, throughout my life, you know, I desire to be with somebody that that loved me for me, that seen me for me, that not only seen me for me, but seen me for who I could be. And I and I hope I make that clear because excuse me. We all desire to be somebody

Learning Love And Calling

SPEAKER_00 18:53

in life, but it takes somebody it's like that that that parable of seeing something from the outside looking in. And that's what that's what I was that's what I was yearning for. I was looking for somebody that can see me in the way that God sees me. Because I can look at myself in the mirror, but if I don't see fully what God wants me to be, because sometimes we can look at ourselves and the first thing we get is the enemy attacking us through our eyes, and we can see something and think that that's what we're supposed to be, but it's not the God's design. Sometimes we need that person to look at us as if we were looking at ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

That's deep, that's deep water. And so, you know, when I look at the text and I hear everything that you're saying, honey, uh, looking at this text, he said, he said, but let patience have her perfect work. When I see that word work, when I see it, I'm like, when you're working on something, it's it's a process. It's like it can be challenging. It can have its points where, you know, that it's it runs smooth, but for the for the most, for the biggest part of it, like it's gonna require you being present and you being there. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Definitely, because you know, if even if you I just say like this, okay. When you and and I like that scripture when it said let perfect have the perfect works, right? It's almost like assinuated with Say you're a track star, right? And if you don't during practice, if you're not there, how are you gonna get conditioned?

unknown 20:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

If you're not there, how are you gonna make it that extra leg? If you're not there, how are you going to fulfill your destiny in that race? And that's even with that's with anything in life. You can take anything that we do in life, if you're not there, if you're not present, how can you do it? If you're not in your child's

Staying Present In The Process

SPEAKER_00 21:15

life, how can you be that perfect father or perfect mother?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Mm-hmm. So, you know, with that being said, like, did you ever feel like you wanted to quit or rush? I mean, I feel like that there's a process, like, I feel like we grow in in stages, like we have different seasons of different seasons of different things. And if we learn the lesson in that season, then it's an opportunity for us to, you know, grow and develop a little further. In your case, I mean, you are 47 years old. Has there, especially since you changed your last name, has there ever been a point where you wanted to quit or rush through the process?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Always. And and I'm gonna elaborate on that because look, we've got to understand. understand that you know the process has to take place but if we if we say that the process is finished and we good we're lying to ourselves because the process is ever continuing there's gonna be moments in your lives and and I say this and I speak this from experience there's always gonna be a a part of us that think we're good but if we give up how can God take us to the next level that's good that's good that's really good because hey I'm bringing home I'm as we come into the end of the show I you know we gotta remember that in this process like it's gonna be work and that you know you're gonna have to get into the gym and work those muscles you don't want to work you know at the end of the day patience isn't not it's not easy but it's something that is required in order for you to get to the next level to get to the place where we can talk about on next week getting to a place where we are not wanting for anything which in essence is really it's it's contentment.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

You know biblical patience isn't always passively waiting it's remaining under pressure while God develops you that's really that's what it is like God is developing something in us that we cannot see but if we trust in him and not leaning on our own understanding the process can work itself into manifestation into fruition into a place where you can actually see it operating so the last question of the day honey let me ask you this and I hope you are you willing to come back for next week's episode definitely definitely I was I was very excited about when you asked me to come on this season so yeah definitely well absolutely so let me ask you this and this is going to linger on into next week's show let me ask you this and I want y'all to think about it for you think about it yourself write this question down and answer it for yourself when we're dealing okay we so God is dealing with patience in your life yes what qualities have been developed in you because of patience what qualities have been that's funny that you asked me that um what qualities developed in me since I allowed patience to have its way um I'm not as as angry as I used to be you know because for a long time being a little transparent I I was I was very angry at God years ago when I lost my father and and I think that and I think that was a key to my before you even say any further how long ago did you lose your father?

SPEAKER_00 25:18

See I was nine so over thirty what's he what thirty eight years he was angry with God go ahead and I and I really think that was what really triggered my self-destruct mode because it was like I'm trying not to get chariot I was definitely on that self-to-struck mode because my thought was if not only am I not loved by people I was not loved by God and I say that and I say man because so many people experience that you know

Patience Healing After Loss

SPEAKER_00 26:02

they experience that that feeling of of loneliness yeah of you know being defeated being overwhelmed being just like feeling like it's over I'm done with you know what I mean I don't I I don't even want to live this life anymore.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

You know what I mean I'm just tired and that's what it looks like when we are walking through the doors of patience it's like God is saying just hold fast stay with me I'm working out some things and you know here an encouragement to you is to hold on because he's working out some things y'all know what Samel would say hold on pain ends hallelujah the outcome was never just the blessing the outcome was who we became through the process James says let patience have a perfect word meaning if we interrupt the process we can interrupt the development you don't want to be come forth premature hallelujah God uses process to produce maturity endurance wisdom and wholeness so what you gotta do now is say to yourself the process may be painful but the outcome is revealing purpose hallelujah the process may be painful but the outcome is revealing purpose hallelujah so honey would you do us a favor and wrap us up with prayer and use your famous words yes and I and I got a final thought too also got a final thought too um you know you can have a coffee cup that's shattered and that coffee cup can be our life and we can try to super glue it all we want but until it goes back in that fire and that will be made perfect.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Woo let us pray. Dearly Father Lord and our Savior Jesus Christ we come to you once again and say thank you we thank you for your grace and your mercy we thank you for your loving kindness and mercy we pray in the name of Jesus as as we continue our day continue our walk continue our strength continue our guidance with your word we pray in the name of Jesus that you would just guide us lead us and direct us in the right path we pray in the name of Jesus and beg your forgiveness for anything we might have said down a thought that's not pleasing your sight that your grace forgive us and cast it back in the pitch of headway came from we pray in the name of Jesus that this testament this this podcast we will continue to manifest continue to grow continue to give you the glory to it and in it we pray in the name of you will touch each lies and hear it and apply it

Prayer And Diamond Reminder

SPEAKER_00 28:44

and apply it to that lies and prize to that situation. We pray in the name of you just have your way innocent to us in Jesus Christ's name we say thank you and we say amen and amen amen amen thank you so much honey for coming on with me and I'm excited for next week.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

So so so excited you amen I and I appreciate you asking me once again to uh be on here so y'all know he used to do it all the time and so uh I can never do it the way that he does it but uh I want you to do it honey will you do it for me of course I will until next time remember you are a diamond in the rough amen see y'all next week