God's Diamonds In The Ruff Podcast
Welcome to our uplifting podcast, where we aim to guide you on a journey to see yourself through the eyes of God and empower you to navigate life with this perspective. We wholeheartedly believe that you are as precious as a diamond, and it is our mission to constantly reinforce this truth.
God's Diamonds In The Ruff Podcast
#170 S5 EP 44: Pet Loss and Divine Healing: Navigating Grief with Rachel Shirley
What happens when a cherished pet becomes a source of profound grief? Join us as we explore this poignant topic with Rachel Shirley, a devoted advocate for grieving pet owners. During the pandemic, Rachel found her calling in comforting those who have lost beloved animal companions, and she shares the insights and healing messages from her new book, "Pet Loss and Divine Healing." Together, we uncover the unique ways individuals experience grief, whether mourning a pet or a human loved one, reflecting on the deep bonds we form with our furry friends and the emotions that arise when they are gone.
Grief is not just an emotional response but an opportunity for personal growth and spiritual connection. With Rachel, we discuss the often overlooked impact of losing a pet and how societal norms may fail to recognize the depth of this pain. We delve into how grief manifests from various life changes, such as losing a job or a sense of identity, and how faith can serve as a supportive anchor during these tumultuous times. Our conversation underscores the significance of community support and the comfort that can be found in shared experiences, ultimately highlighting the importance of acknowledging and honoring each individual's unique journey through loss.
As we navigate the complexities of grief, we emphasize the power of integrating faith into the healing process. Whether crafting a personal retreat to deepen one's relationship with God or embracing the role of the church as a welcoming space for all, the path to healing is diverse and deeply personal. Through heartfelt prayers and stories, we remind everyone of their inherent value and potential, encouraging listeners to carry messages of hope and healing into the world. Join our spiritual journey as we promise more inspiration and fellowship in future episodes, helping us all to embrace our divine purpose with love and gratitude.
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Hello, hello, and welcome back one more time. God's diamonds in the rough. We are so glad to be before you, amen. We hope all is well where you are. Amen. We are so, again, just so excited to be before you Every time we're able to minister and be a light for the kingdom to really highlight the diamond that God has put inside of you. Amen. It's always a blessing to us.
Speaker 1:Michael is not here. He's not here today, but I do have somebody with me, amen, and her name is Rachel Shirley, and I'm going to let her introduce herself here in just a few moments. Amen. Uh, y'all know what we got to do. Before we do anything, let's pray.
Speaker 1:So, father, we thank you so much for your grace and your mercy. Thank you, god, for allowing us this time and this opportunity, father, to get into a conversation that's going to help your people. I pray, in the name of Jesus, that we can be a light for you. We pray, god, that the words that we speak will be like words of life, words of encouragement, words of testimony even to the power in your hand over our lives. I pray that every heart that is here is here to seek your face. I pray, god, that you would speak to their need, speak to their problem, speak to the issue at hand. Father, we love you so much, so very grateful, so thankful. We pray this prayer in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. We do pray, amen, amen and amen. Hallelujah Y' Christ, we do pray, amen, amen and amen, hallelujah Y'all. I'm excited. I'm excited about this conversation. So, without further ado, we want you, ms Rachel, to say hello to everybody and tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you so much, catherine. Thank you for having me. Amen, amen, amen to your beautiful prayer, glory to God. Thank you so much for all that you are doing. Amen, and I just I'm, I'm humbled and appreciative of of all the work that God has you doing. So thank you for that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, um, my name is Rachel, as you mentioned. Uh, last name is Shirley. Thanks to my husband, I have two first names.
Speaker 2:That's all right, that's right. Yes, yeah, and God has me right now serving people in the pet loss community, and that really wasn't on my radar until COVID hit, and then it came onto my radar, so I jumped into the field and I'm very grateful to be able to hold space and walk alongside families and pet parents that are grieving the loss of their beloved pet, and I just recently wrote a book and it feels pretty cool to do that. I, as you can imagine, working in this space is very heavy and so I can only do so much. So I thought and my clients were asking to to write a book. So at least you know some of God's healings. You know through my words can can touch them from afar. So so, yeah, that's what god has me up to right now amen.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, because I would be the first one to admit I didn't know that was a thing. Amen uh to to have somebody that would be invested, even uh to those who are grieving the loss of a pet. I think that that is absolutely a wonderful work and it also shows us that God uses everything to his glory. Everything was made and created by him and for him, amen. So that is awesome, that work that you are doing, and you know we wish you so many blessings in it. Uh, so today, amen to god.
Speaker 1:So today, we're gonna kind of uh, I'm still searching to pinpoint exactly where the spirit wants to take us on today. Uh, but, I think that the main um point that that should be discussed is how we deal with grief how we deal with grief, whether it's a pet, um, someone, that, someone that we care about or something that matters to us, and we lose it. Uh, can you kind of describe what that looks like and you know what we can expect when we do grieve?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it's a great question. I love your heart to really take a deeper dive into this, because grief is different for everybody, you know. As God made us so uniquely different, we all grieve in different ways and you may be familiar. There's, you know, like the five stages of grief. In pet loss and in other loss there's more than five stages, right. I never really refer to them, I just say, listen, god has us doing different things at different times and that's OK. So it's really about supporting and knowing that you're going to get through it. Whatever the grief is, you're going to get through it.
Speaker 2:We don't ever get over it, really, right? Whether it's a loss of a job, a loss of a family member, a pet loss of identity, right, we can really grieve that a loss of identity that we wrapped ourselves in. So grief really is this beautiful place and I say beautiful where God uses that moment, where we have a choice, where we can really get grounded, yeah, and get back to our roots, our roots and yeah, and you know, and then learn to move forward and surround ourselves with community, to really pour into us. Or we can go do the unhealthy habits you know drinking alcohol, going to food, going to sex, going to all different things, right. That's just kind of a societal thing that is much more acceptable, Right. But we have a choice, definitely we have a choice, definitely we have a choice how we can grieve.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yeah. So you know, I like what you just said and it makes perfect sense back to him and it will renew, refresh and restore what the loss has brought. I mean, that's really what you're saying, right, yes, yes, it's like.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's like maybe we thought things were good and in fact, you know, god's stripping away sometimes, right, I mean, there's no guarantee that our animals and our humans are going to be with us our whole life, that our animals and our humans are going to be with us our whole life, so our jobs or whatever it may be. So it's kind of this stripping away and we can stay in the good and or we can leave the good and go to better and God has so much more for us, even in the grief and what I like to share with families. And it's kind of funny how God works, as you know. But you know, on my website it says I'm a woman of faith. I talk about it.
Speaker 2:But really a lot of my clients I would say about 80% are non believers or they're pissed off at God or whatever it may be. And I just, you know I'm, I'm here to serve. You know I roll up my sleeves. How can I help? I'm here, I'm not here to judge you. And at the same time, if the conversation does come up, I let them know they can be pissed off at God. God can handle it, you know, right, we can get pissed off. He wants to hear that. He just wants that relationship so he can say I love you, I've got you in this and I've got something better for you. It's okay, and you'll see them in heaven Maybe not in the law, but animals and people.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, I love what you're saying because you know that's the heart. The heart of God says you know I love you and he wants us to treat each other that way and say I love you. Yeah, you see more and more now where people are running to the lives of animals because you have people who think that, oh, because animals are animals and they aren't people, that they're insignificant again as we said in the beginning, god created everything for him.
Speaker 1:You know, even animals were created and when you think about it, in creation animals, animals were created before people were created.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:He had his mind on animals just as well as he did humans, even though humans were here first, even before the animals. But everything had to be maintained and all of that. But you know the point of the matter is? Is that animals?
Speaker 2:do matter.
Speaker 1:And again focusing back on that grief what does that grief look like? I think we might have discussed that once or twice on the show about grief, but can you? What does that grief?
Speaker 2:look like.
Speaker 1:And to you and what god has showed you. How does it look and how do you handle it? I mean yeah, yeah, and you further, just further kind of dig into that. What? Does it look like some people don't know.
Speaker 2:So the the grief and I'm going to share from my personal experience and then also my professional experience and working with so many you know families throughout the years all over the world. It's a devastating pain. The grief is often described as unbearable and it really comes at like blindsiding, like a huge um weight, and a lot of confusion happens with it, and one of the reasons why is because people will share that this grief. What they're going through is so traumatizing and traumatic and just devastating. They can't wrap around their head around it, even more than a human in their life that has passed. And then they get really confused and shame comes upon them or, you know, the enemy wants that to happen, right, um? And and I just gently remind them that this relationship is different and our society likes to rank deaths right, your grandmother's death is much more important than your kitty cat's death.
Speaker 2:You know people will say those things and that's simply not true because they don't know the specific relationships and oftentimes we spend a lot of time with our animals. They're in our house, they sleep in our beds, they're with us 24-7. And they're everything that I believe God is unconditional love, forgiveness, loyalty, nonjudgmental all those things. So that relationship's really deep. So the grief part is just really devastating. It's crying headaches, brain fog, you know, can't sleep, can't eat, or eating overeating, can't eat or eating overeating. I mean just all these different things happen at once, especially the emotional, trying to understand what just happened, um, and and just really being in this place of sometimes I don't want to live anymore, I want to go to heaven with them.
Speaker 1:Is is what people will say that's, that's powerful, that's, I mean, diamonds. Yeah, so the point of diamonds, what am I saying? Um, I think of what I'm saying is is that you know your feelings and attachments to your animals is valid and, just like a human being, you have to grieve that. You can expect it. You can expect that Like, for example, a puppy. We had a baby I mean not a baby, a puppy from his birth and my son. He moved out of of the house and we still had the puppy. So about?
Speaker 1:seven years we had this puppy um I mean we. This is growing up. God, he even had a little goatee, little turn white. Oh, I love it well, needless to say, um, we ended up, um, his he. We ended up giving him to my son to take care of where he was and it was just, it was kind of dramatic.
Speaker 1:It was just like oh, wow, you know, and and then we also had his brother as well and, uh, where my brother and his wife and they were moving, they couldn't have him. So they actually gave him to another family and I was just really sad that I said to myself, am I crying over a dog? But I, I absolutely get it and you know, it's like it's just one of those things where you know just as much as as as a person in a relationship, animals work the same way. So let me ask you this yeah, where are you located? Are you located in a place where people can get to you? Are there a lot of you around, people who do what you do?
Speaker 2:There. There aren't too many, it's actually the field is, um, becoming more noticeable? Um, definitely, which is a good thing. Um, I'm actually located in Charlotte area. My husband and I moved here about a year ago from Florida and a lot of all my clients are online. We have phone calls or zoom, whatever they feel most comfortable with, and other people that are in the field. I mean, there's no competition. We're all here to serve, so they're all over the country too, which is really great. You know there's online support groups, things like that. So I do hear often that clients wish that there was like a local support group that they could actually go to, because I think with COVID, you know, we just kind of got over the isolation piece. We really want community, you know, connection. So there's definitely tons of online support groups and there are some in different cities. You can just Google and find in your city if there's a pet law support group.
Speaker 1:So you don't have one where people can actually come and y'all gather together. No, maybe there's something in the near future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know Amen, I receive it. I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking about that some type of retreat, you know, for people that really you know want to celebrate their relationship with God and do the deep work right and celebrate their sweet one in heaven too.
Speaker 1:Yes, Because, like you said, you want to go from good to the best. You know what I mean and you know. And when you do that, you can't. You know when you understand, you know that what you're going through is okay, you can become an encouragement and enlightenment to somebody else. That's going through that. Don't know nothing about, uh, about people who who do it for you know, do it as a profession or whatever. Have you? You know? Yeah, so amen. Yes, you say you have a website.
Speaker 2:I do. Yeah, it's Rachel dash Shirleycom. Yeah, that's how people find me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you have a book as well. How do they get your book?
Speaker 2:yes, yes, it's pet loss and divine healing, thank you, yes, and it's a compassionate guide for navigating your devastating loss and it's faith-based. So there's some people that aren't gonna like it, which we know. That's. God's got it, it's okay, you know. So I speak about God and I have scripture in there and that's who I am and and so, yeah, I I support people through the book and then when people call me or email me, yeah, oh, I just, I love all every.
Speaker 1:The topic at hand is absolutely important, but I, I just love how you're making sure people understand that I love Jesus and he is the reason why, and you know, we both. I'm sure I can speak for you, msirley that we want to encourage you as a diamond to that. It's okay, you know that is absolutely okay for you to do what you do for the glory of god and serve those that aren't saved.
Speaker 1:Hear what I said yeah, some people they, they are saved and they don't want to serve those that are unsaved right, you know you're hitting on one of my things, right now really talk about yeah, I've got god bumps.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna cry right now. I mean because yeah, add to it.
Speaker 2:Come on, add to it. I really I I feel that God is shifting some of my work into speaking to other believers and helping come alongside them. In the Hertz ministry, I think that there are a lot of, you know, fellow believers that are searching for their purpose and you know, is it secular, is it not All these things? And I really just want to come alongside them and say no, no, there. Is it secular, is it not all these things? And I really just want to come alongside them and say no, no, no, no. Listen, it's everybody and God's got it. And just roll up your sleeves and get in there. They're believers. They're not believers. We are going to be persecuted.
Speaker 2:I'm experiencing that and that's part of of this. I cry on my husband's shoulder, or, like we say, you can have a pity party for like 10 minutes. I tell him that. He tells me that, right, like all right, just pick up. God's got this. You know our flesh can get hurt sometimes, but it's really that's where the fruit of the spirit is is really, really just diving in and coming alongside people, because how else are they going to see Jesus Exactly?
Speaker 1:Exactly At the end of the day, at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:Actually my daughter. She has her lifestyle, that's all I'll say. She has her lifestyle and she just told me. She said you know, I went to a church and before I could get through the door the woman told me I can't come here because of her lifestyle. I said I'm sorry for that, because the reality is that, as people of God, we're supposed to be helping those that don't know the way. How can you really be the light if you don't make the people comfortable in the light?
Speaker 2:That's right. And the church is a hospital. Hello, it's not there as a country club where you know you have to be a certain way, and no, it's a hospital. That's that's. You know what. We're here to let our hair down and have a safe place to not be judged. I'm so sorry she. She went through that it's and that's a common story, right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:unfortunately. Well, the church, I mean, and it's, it's, and this is why, and this is why we have god's diamonds in the rough, but the rough symbolizes the hard places and the fact that god has a yet for everybody yeah, the yeah you know, because you might not be where I am, but you're definitely on the way.
Speaker 1:Even though you got troubles and you got things going on in your life and you've chosen the wrong path and all of that, he still loves you, because I haven't always been who I am. I think this is the piece that people forget, is that? You haven haven't always been who you are, and every last one of us has a story every last one of us has lost somebody.
Speaker 1:Every last one of us has has lost something that we held value to and, at the same time, can't allow the things that we've lost to become or be a part of our identity amen, yeah amen, absolutely, absolutely. That's a huge message right there, absolutely I feel like, yeah, sometimes this is how we fall into those traps like alcoholism and drugs and things like that.
Speaker 1:So, as you already mentioned, this is how we fall into it, because we allow that thing to become a part of who we are. And you know I mean, when you build a relationship, of course you know it's going to become a part of you, but it can't allow it to consume you. That's right, and that grief can do that right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it can consume you and it can get comfy. You know it can get comfy. I can isolate here, I can share my story and get some sympathy. You know it can get that way for sure. And so it's really about making healthy decisions and allowing you know the healthy way to allow the grief, to recognize it, to talk about it, to acknowledge it, to release it and then to pay it forward, just like you said. You know it's about paying it forward.
Speaker 2:Okay, god's going to bring somebody in my life that has lost a pet or a job or something, and I've walked through that and I'm going to, you know, reach out and say here, how can I help you? You know I'm here to support you in any way possible, and that's I help you. You know I'm here to support you in any way possible, and that's that's what we're here to do, is to pay it forward. So, yes, you're right, it can. Grief can become our identity, or really, if we go beyond it and it's it's it can be uncomfortable to go on beyond it, right, but there's so much more on the other side of it. It's the the better, because that's really where we deepen our relationship with God, and I believe he just blesses the socks off of us.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:it says you know what, yes, you can do this, and good work. And now let's, let's give you a reprieve, you know, and that's important, yeah.
Speaker 1:And, and you know, to, kind of as we get ready to wrap up here, I kind of you know as I thinking about that consumption thing. You know, would you agree with this thought? I think that sometimes people that are consumed by the loss or consumed by the hurt, or whatever have you, they become, they become I'm trying to, I'm choosing my words real carefully, you can become.
Speaker 1:You can, it can, almost, it's almost. Like people can want your pity so much and want you to feel so sorry for them that you get tired of hearing the same story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:You know how do we get past that?
Speaker 2:I mean you have a thought for?
Speaker 1:that. How do we get past being tired of hearing the same story I?
Speaker 2:have an answer, let's see if you agree with the answer um, let me just clarify um past the story from ourselves telling us the same story or others that have gone through it, that we're close with hearing the same stories I think what I mean is you know how people it seemed like it's always something wrong.
Speaker 1:It's always something wrong, Always always, always. And it's almost like we come to expect something's wrong and it's hard for us to see it any other way. And when we see them coming, it's oh gosh, I'm going the other way. They're about to ruin my day, you know, with their sob story type of thing. And my question is I mean, how do you still serve in that?
Speaker 2:capacity. Great, yes, thank you. Thank you for clarifying it. Yes, I actually kind of get real honest. I'm always honest, but I get real honest yeah.
Speaker 2:And I write this in my book too. I learned long ago in recovery so I've been sober, by the grace of God for I don't know, I think over 13 years now from alcohol. I had an alcohol dependency, a real struggle with it. But anyways, in recovery and I used to lead and celebrate recovery and things, and I, you know, I, I learned and I have this saying is this thought helpful or is it harmful? And so I get real honest with people, you know, and say, okay, I, I know that, you know we are not diminishing or devaluing what you're going through. But you're also saying that you aren't happy and you know you, you feel stuck. So let's talk about our are your thoughts helpful or are they harmful? And just really inviting them to the conversation to get honest with themselves. Because how is it serving? Is it serving you?
Speaker 2:We do things, our thoughts, words and actions are all based on, you know, if there's some type of value and it's serving in some capacity, whether it's healthy or not right, it's doing some type of service. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. So really just getting down to the root of it, and sometimes it's just having that question approached and saying, oh wow, maybe this is. It's really if I'm honest, it's it's. It's harmful that I keep thinking this way. Okay, so let's work on some things to to help you move through this, not diminishing it, let's just move through it. It not diminishing it, let's just move through it. It had its place and now it's done. You know, it's like God saying pick up your mat.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right, yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes it's that tough love.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, and that just absolutely hits the nail on the head, because I said I was thinking to myself sometimes, you know, unfortunately I mean it's not really unfortunate thing, but we have to sometimes when it's like, it's like almost like somebody back in the wall with the same old thing. And the way to come out to back them up off of you so you can still serve them, is to tell them the truth in love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell them the truth in love and you know, the unfortunate part about that is, even when you're doing your best to tell them the truth in love, they can still be hurt, they can still be offended. Be hurt, they can still be offended. But yeah, yeah, but the reality is is that when you do it because god told you to, when you do it, eventually boys will. They're gonna find out that what they said to me, it wasn't because they was judging me, it wasn't because they condemned me, but it was because they truly did love me. That's right, amen, amen.
Speaker 2:All right, I love how you say that. Absolutely To God be the glory. You all are doing amazing work in this capacity with your audience. You're doing amazing work, lifting them up and speaking truth.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 2:To God be the glory. It's giving a place for them to say I belong in this world, you know.
Speaker 1:I love it. I'm on somebody. Yeah, hallelujah, yes. So one more time, can you share your website and give a final thought to our listeners, please?
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. So my website is Rachel R-A-C-H-E-L-S-H-I-R-L-E-Ycom, and you can find me there, or you can get my book on Amazon it's Pet Loss and Divine Healing. On Amazon You'll be able. And I would say a final word of encouragement is stick with God. I mean no matter what, stick with God. Our world is full of compromise and all of these messages that look enticing but truthfully we know that they are not, and god is a good, good father, so so good, and he loves us all and the fruit is there. Just stick with him and stick with people that are, um, fellows, you know, serve everywhere, but surround yourself with people who can really share the love of God and remind you that you are valuable and loved and adored by this world and also by your heavenly father.
Speaker 1:Hallelujah, amen. Would you pray us out of our conversation as well?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, thank you, Heavenly Father, thank you so much for this opportunity to come alongside one another right now, with all of the listeners and Catherine and I know Michael's not here, but he is in spirit Amen, amen. And I know Michael's not here, but he is in spirit, amen. We just ask that you open our hearts and you open our minds to everything that you have for us, lord. We ask for a hedge of protection, as well as type of grief or resentment or any offense. Lord, please help dig that out of their heart and let them know that they are loved and adored and have priceless work to do here on earth and they are full of purpose, lord, and help them see that they are uniquely designed to be a diamond in the rough. That's what you called us to be, lord. So I just ask for a hedge of protection and all of your wisdom to be poured upon us so we can be salt and light and hands and feet in this beautiful world.
Speaker 1:In Jesus' name amen, amen Amen, thank you so much, miss rachel, for being here with me. I just so so appreciate you hallelujah. So, um, all right, y'all, y'all know it, until the next time we meet, you are a diamond in the rough. Amen, blessings and love from and love from us to you and y'all. Have a great and marvelous day or night for some. Amen. We'll see you next week, and much love Amen.
